There are literally thousands of books available on how to live various aspects of the Christian life. Of these, at least a couple of dozen pertaining to family life and child training are well worth reading. This is not one of those books. This book is designed to help you take those other books, as well as all the sermons, teachings, and exhortations you have received on child training and leadership in the home, and make sense of it all.Pastor Tad Thompson has assembled a biblical approach to effective family discipleship. Let him share it with you in this clear, encouraging, accessible book. This is not another book of tactics and techniques. It is a book of strategy for parents who want to be intentional about discipleship in the home.

Parents are unable to give their children what they need most-new hearts that trust in Christ for forgiveness of sins. All belief is a work of God alone. But parents must not “hinder“ their children from coming to Christ, as Jesus‘ disciples sought to hinder mothers and fathers from bringing small children to Him (Mark 10:13-16). On the contrary, they must do everything in their power to “bring“ their children to the Savior, which means raising their sons and daughters in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). In Parenting by God‘s Promises: How to Raise Children in the Covenant of Grace, Dr. Joel R. Beeke explores what this nurture and admonition looks like and offers gems of practical wisdom for parents on topics such as instituting and leading family worship, teaching children, modeling faithful Christian living, and exercising discipline. However, he carefully puts parental responsibilities in their proper perspective and guides mothers and fathers to lean not on their own abilities but to trust more fully in the God who knits children together in the first place. Above all, he affirms, parents must look to the one true God, who promises to provide everything His people need and to bless them and their families. Endorsements “The defection of young people from the church is creating great concern in our day. Oftentimes the solutions seem to exacerbate the problem. Joel Beeke’s book, Parenting by God’s Promises: How to Raise Children in the Covenant of Grace, is a sane, biblical word in the midst of the chaos. The book blends a vibrant covenant theology with wise, practical instruction. Moreover, it keeps a balance between family and church in the nurture of our children. This book is an important read for pastors, elders, parents, and grandparents.” —Dr. Joseph A. Pipa Jr. “In an age of pragmatism, Joel Beeke is a drink of fresh, cool theological water. Raising children is about more than just surviving until they leave home; Beeke reminds us that Christian parents must view their roles in the broader context of God’s redemptive work. Our goal must be raising children who, by God’s grace, come to know and follow the Lord who has redeemed us and called us to Himself. This is a daunting task, and parents need all the help they can get. For those desperate to hear a clear, thoughtful, biblical, theological, Reformed treatise on the subject, Parenting by God’s Promises is a valuable read.” —Dr. Voddie Baucham

our provocation has driven them away.

4. Listen to the Advice of Others

Effective parents seek counsel from their pastors and elders, their own parents, and even their own kids. They also take advantage of good books on parenting. Two great helps on spiritual parenting are Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp and Parenting by God’s Promises by Joel Beeke.

Our children are a sacred trust. Our task is not so much to rule over them, as to lovingly, graciously, train them to fear God. If you have ever worked with concrete you know that you only have a few hours to work it into the proper shape before it becomes immovable. So it is with children. We have just a few years to help shape the spiritual impulses that will guide them through the rest of their lives. We must do all we can to avoid misshaping our children by provoking them to discouragement.

Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on July 15, 2013.

the rod (Prov. 17:10). This is particularly so as a child moves past the early years of childhood. Matthew Henry urges parents to exercise authority not “with rigor and severity, but with kindness and gentleness.” If your children can forget that you love them, either during or immediately following discipline, you might be doing it wrong.

2. Maintaining a disorderly home.

God is a God of order (1 Cor. 14:33). He has created us in his image to promote order and thrive in the context of order. A disorderly home can discourage children. A perpetually messy, or especially an unsanitary home can help produce poorly adjusted children. A lack of regularly scheduled meal times and bed times can frustrate children’s God-given desire for order.

3. Holding inappropriate expectations.

Some parents expect almost nothing from their kids. In such settings, children can lose energy or passion because they are never helped to “reach forward to those things which are ahead” (Phil 3:13). In other homes too much is expected. Experience teaches that unreasonable expectations are the ideal breeding ground for discouragement. If your children regularly fail to measure up to your standards, you might be expecting too much.

4. Building a joyless home.

In some homes children are not treated with the dignity that God requires. Some parents rarely congratulate or encourage their children, focusing instead, on their faults. Parents must never forget that their children are people created in God’s image. Children of believers are even included in God’s covenant (1 Cor. 7:14).

5. Failing to speak as “one flesh.”

Too often, dad and mom are not operating by the same rules when it comes to interacting with their kids. One parent might be more lenient. The other might be more demanding. But such “accidental doublespeak” is dangerously confusing to our children. In irreconcilable disagreements the wife must graciously acquiesce to her husband’s leadership (Col. 3:18).

There are many more potential causes for childhood discouragement. Like good physicians, parents should evaluate the spiritual health of their children and, where applicable, diagnose the source of their children’s discouragement. Sometimes the answer will be found by looking in the mirror.

Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on July 8, 2013.

Parenting can be both rewarding and overwhelming, and there seems to be no shortage of opinions regarding how fathers and mothers should raise their children. With so much conflicting and often unbiblical advice, how can parents orient themselves to God’s desires and purposes for their children? The following resources, curated by the Ligonier editorial team, can provide both a biblical framework as well as practical advice to parents seeking to raise their children to the glory of God.

Parenting by God’s Promises: How to Raise Children in the Covenant of Grace by Joel Beeke 

This book unpacks the scriptural mandate for parents to raise their children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4) by exploring what that looks like in daily life. Practical wisdom is offered on topics including leading family worship, modeling Christian living, and exercising discipline, all while encouraging parents to look to the Lord and trust in Him as they raise their children.

Like Our Father: How God Parents Us and Why That Matters for Our Parenting by Christina Fox

This book focuses on studying the character of God to give readers a clearer picture of who He is and help them see how His character gives shape to their own parenting as image bearers. Some of the truths covered include that God is our adoptive Father, God provides boundaries, God disciplines us, and God gives us what we need.

The Duties of Parents by J.C. Ryle

In this brief booklet written in the nineteenth century, Ryle describes the goal of parenting according to Scripture, training children to walk with God. This book can help fathers and mothers evaluate their own parenting goals and practices and examine how they line up with God’s character according to His Word.

Teach Them to Work: Building Positive Work Ethic in Our Children by Mary Beeke

This book can provide helpful guidance for parents in how to teach their children to be faithful stewards. Parenting principles and their practical applications are discussed with the goal of helping parents bring clarity to God’s design for fruitful labor in society and the home.

Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp 

God’s Word makes clear that human actions, words, and attitudes flow from our hearts (Luke 6:45). This book seeks to help parents better understand how to engage and guide their children’s hearts into the paths of life by clarifying parenting goals and teaching parents how to communicate with their children in fruitful ways.

22:6 says, Train up a child in the way he should go;    even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Godly parents are to train their children in the paths of righteousness, helping them to understand the consequences of sin and pointing them to the grace and forgiveness found in Christ.

Parenting as Witness

When parents raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, with godly discipline and instruction, it demonstrates their values, priorities, and purpose—living to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever (Westminster Shorter Catechism Q&A 1)—which stands in contrast to the values, priorities, and purpose of the unbelieving world. Moreover, when godly parents are fulfilling their calling as parents according to Scripture, it bears witness to the world about the truth, grace, love, and wisdom of God. These divine attributes find tangible application in a covenant family living for Him, and thus, bear witness to Him. Godly parenting also bears witness to the Lordship of Christ. Since He is Lord of heaven and earth, He is also Lord of the home.

The goal of godly parenting is not just to raise well-behaved children, but to raise children who know, love, and serve the Lord. When Jesus told His disciples that they were to be His witnesses (Acts 1:8), this didn’t only mean formal preaching or teaching; it also meant in lives lived in conformity to Scripture. Parenting, though a basic reality for most people, becomes a witness when carried out for God’s glory and according to God’s truth.

Godly parenting requires reliance upon God’s grace, wisdom, and strength. It is about walking with God and with your children, trusting that He who began a good work in them will carry it on to completion at the day of Christ Jesus (Phil. 1:6). As parents embrace their role in God’s covenant community, they can be confident in the glorious promises of God for their children, for they are to  tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might,    and the wonders that he has done . . . that the next generation might know them,    the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children. (Ps. 78:4, 6)

Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on September 27, 2024.

their heart and represent your heavenly Father to them.

In the overflow of your own intimate and growing relationship with Him, stand ready to impact your child. Though there may be other significant influences in your child’s life, no one can truly take the significant place of a father or mother.

Realize the Long-Term Nature of Parenting

Keep a long view. Be patient. Realize the necessary long-term gradual development while keeping in mind the final overarching goal. Raising your child will, of course, take several years before launching them into independent adulthood. At the end of the road, responsible Christian parenting involves preparing your children for their God-given vocation, possible marriage, and possibly their own parenting journey.

Seemingly insignificant small steps taken along the way, however, matter a great deal. They all add up to your child’s development, playing a part in their character and even in their destiny. Do not despise small baby steps or your child’s accomplishment of a small task (Zech. 4:10). Just as being faithful in little qualifies one to be given greater responsibility (Luke 16:10), the small steps, more easily quantifiable and achievable, prepare the way for achieving the larger long-term goal.

Use the powerful tool of biblical discipline, not only to correct but also to instruct, so as to help your child grow in holiness. God disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness (Heb. 12:5–11). The intentional prodding toward holiness will immeasurably strengthen the engine that will power your children’s ultimate mission for God. Character is key. Holiness matters, not as an end in itself, but as a foundation for accomplishing their mission from God (John 17:17–19).

Conclusion

May the God of peace sanctify you thoroughly for this highly significant and central work of your life. May He equip you through His Word, the Spirit, and the church to meet the wonderful challenge and responsibility of parenting a child from birth to mature adulthood.

truly Christian, tethered to both the indicatives and imperatives of God’s Word, then we’ll need to pray. We’ll need to pray because we need help connecting the gospel to their everyday lives. None of us does this well.

Christian parents must flee from moralism and manipulation into the blood and righteousness of Jesus alone. We have to give them the gospel, graciously but relentlessly, so that they’ll know that there is a God who is as good as He says He is. Love them, discipline them, and tell them about Jesus.

Now, back to our opening vignette. Allie had just declared, “I don’t deserve to be with my friends.” How would the gospel transform her mom’s response?

Although her mom wasn’t thinking about the gospel and didn’t want to take time away from her company to correct her daughter or talk to her about Jesus, the Lord used Allie’s words to melt her heart.

“You’re right, Allie. You don’t deserve to be with your friends. But neither do I. I’ve been angry and embarrassed. I don’t deserve God’s good gifts either. But God is so kind, He doesn’t give us what we deserve. He gives us mercy instead. Do you know what mercy is, little one?” Allie shook her head no.

“Mercy is God giving you good when you deserve punishment. And grace is God just piling on all the good stuff you could never earn by being good enough. God can give us grace because His Son never slapped anyone. He can give us mercy because His Son was slapped in our place. Jesus has made a way for you and me to experience God’s mercy instead of His judgment. Isn’t He good?”

“You’re making me cry,” Allie whispered through her tears.

“Yes, God’s mercy is making me cry, too,” her mom replied. “Let’s pray together that the Lord helps us both remember His grace tonight.”

After discipline and prayer, Allie hugged her mom and said, “Mommy, now I know that God really loves me.”

Christian parenting isn’t a new method. It’s sharing the gospel you already know.

In this optional session, Dr. Joel Beeke explores what nurture and admonition looks like and offers gems of practical wisdom for parents on topics such as instituting and leading family worship, teaching children, modeling faithful Christian living, and exercising discipline. However, he carefully puts parental responsibilities in their proper perspective and guides mothers and fathers to lean not on their own abilities but to trust more fully in the God who knits children together in the first place. Above all, he affirms, parents must look to the one true God, who promises to provide everything His people need and to bless them and their families.

Related Resource: Parenting by God's Promises, How to Raise Children in the Covenant of Grace

in light of the understanding that we really do believe we are accountable to Scripture. In many ways that’s the most revolutionary, the most incendiary Christian belief that is at stake right now—the fact we actually believe that we are bound by Scripture.

At the Diet of Worms, Martin Luther said, “Here I stand, I can do none other. God help me. My conscience is bound by Scripture.” The very fact we believe we are bound by Scripture is increasingly going to be a public scandal. This is the thing: Unless our children develop a love for the Word of God, and unless the Word of God gets into their hearts and penetrates them, then they’re going to see the Word of God as the problem. They’re going to see us as the problem for, in their view, basing prejudicial, hateful, exclusionary beliefs upon an inscripturated claim to revelation.

When we look at our children and our grandchildren and the church’s children, when we look at any child, let’s pray that they see Christ, and seeing Christ, believe in Him, and believing, they are saved. Let’s pray that they’ll be raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

This post is excerpted from the book Indestructible Joy for the Next Generations, published by Truth78 (formerly Children Desiring God). For a limited time, the book is available as a free download at Bit.ly/IndestructibleJoy.

Christian parents are called to bring their children up in the fear and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). So, what does that look like today for families living in a post-Christian society?

Recently, Drs. Burk Parsons and Tedd Tripp joined our president and CEO, Chris Larson, to encourage Christian parents to trust the Lord in their parenting. Watch now as they consider the biblical responsibility of passing along the great truths of the Christian faith to the next generation.

This special event was streamed here and on YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter. You can also watch a recording of the discussion below.

Allie was having a rough night. She had already been disciplined once for slapping one of the pastor's sons across the face, and she had just done it again, this time to his brother. Her mother was humiliated and frustrated. Allie was angry, ashamed, and hopeless as she sat in her room awaiting the consequences.

When her mom went to speak with her, Allie cried, "I don't deserve to be out there with my friends."

How would you have answered her?

Practically every parent on the planet has had a conversation with a child about the impropriety of hitting others. The question before Christian parents is not "Should I correct this behavior?" The question is "How does the gospel inform the way I correct my children?" Perhaps a more pointed question would be "How does my parenting differ from that of my Mormon neighbors down the street?"

Continue reading Christian Parenting, Elyse Fitzpatrick's contribution to the March issue of Tabletalk.

In this newly released trailer for Parenting by God's Promises, Joel Beeke explains why he wrote this book on parenting.

Parents are unable to give their children what they need most—new hearts that trust in Christ for forgiveness of sins. All belief is a work of God alone. But parents must not "hinder" their children from coming to Christ, as Jesus' disciples sought to hinder mothers and fathers from bringing small children to Him (Mark 10:13–16). On the contrary, they must do everything in their power to "bring" their children to the Savior, which means raising their sons and daughters in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4).

Parenting by God's Promises: How to Raise Children in the Covenant of Grace_ is available from ReformationTrust.com**

of such grown is to strive to rear our children in the ways of the Lord. Repeatedly in the gospels, Christ uses children to bring parents to Himself. Think, for example, of the father of the demoniac in Mark 9 and the mother of the Canaanite woman in Matthew 15.

You identify three types of problem parents: consensus administrators, horns of plenty, and wishing wells. What are the results of such parenting? How should parents see themselves?

Consensus administrators run their household by majority vote. Children do not learn submission to authority in such households. Parents who are horns of plenty shower their children with money and gifts. Rather than showing true love, this type of indulgence usually produces self-indulgent, demanding, and ungrateful children. Parents who are wishing wells are ruled by their moods and feelings. These moods are so unpredictable that children never know how their parents will respond to their requests. This tends to destroy their children’s trust, and offers opportunities for them to manipulate their parents to further their own agendas.

Instead of following these worldly and unwise models, parents should see themselves as representatives of Christ, seeking to train their children in a scriptural manner consistent with how they believe Christ wants them to raise them.

What are some practical areas in which you offer help for parents of teenagers?

I try to offer parents help in areas that surface in day-to-day parenting. That includes answering questions such as: How can we as parents train our children to treat their siblings with Christ-like love? How can we help our children learn to discern God’s will in life’s major areas, such as choosing a career and choosing a marriage partner? How can we help our children fend off negative peer pressure and become strong models of positive peer pressure for their friends? How can we help our teens cope with anger? What steps can we take to prepare our children for leaving home and for marriage?

Parenting by God's Promises is available now.

Read a Sample Chapter | Retail $19, Buy it for $15.20 here

Do your children exhaust you? Have you found yourself finishing their chores because it’s, well, easier than getting them to do them? If so, this book will give you new energy, and your household new harmony. This book will help your children develop a good work ethic. Mary Beeke, healthcare professional, educator, and mother first helps you absorb parenting principles and then gives you practical principles to bring clarity to roles in your home. Mary breaks down the principles into manageable chunks so whether you want a reflective study to bring radical change in your life, or just need a shot in the arm, she has you covered.

The rewards of being a brave dad are great. But no guts, no glory. First you have to be willing to follow God’s job description for dads as given in the Bible.In Brave Dad you’ll receive guidance on…-the starting point of being a godly dad—loving your wife-how to raise children who desire to follow God-ways to lovingly discipline kids and encourage obedience-traps to avoid in the course of parenting-the power of a dad’s example to shape children for lifeWhen you commit yourself to being a brave dad, God will help you every step of the way. There is no surer path to a lifetime of family blessings!

All of us want to raise good kids. And we want to be good parents. But what exactly do we mean by “good?” And is “being good” really the point?Mother-daughter team Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson contend that every way we try to make our kids “good” is simply an extension of Old Testament Law—a set of standards that is not only unable to save our children, but also powerless to change them.No, rules are not the answer. What they need is GRACE.We must tell our kids of the grace-giving God who freely adopts rebels and transforms them into loving sons and daughters. If this is not the message your children hear, if you are just telling them to “be good,” then the gospel needs to transform your parenting too.Give Them Grace is a revolutionary perspective on parenting that shows us how to receive the gospel afresh and give grace in abundance, helping our children know the dazzling love of Jesus and respond with heartfelt obedience.

Shepherding a Child's Heart is about how to speak to the heart of your child. The things your child does and says flows from the heart. Luke 6:45 puts it this way, ". . . out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." (NIV) Written for parents with children of any age, this insightful book provides perspectives and procedures for shepherding your child's heart into the paths of life."Tedd Tripp knows what he is talking about and who he is talking to. He knows children, he knows parents . . . and he knows the ways of God. This book teaches you what your goals should be and how to pursue these ends practically. It teaches you how to talk to your children and what to talk about. It will inspire you to become a different kind of parent. This is a masterful Book." —Dr. David Powlison, Professor of Practical Theology, Westminster Theological Seminary.“Dr. Tripp’s material on parenting is the clearest, most biblically framed, and most helpful that I have ever encountered. It has become the backbone of my own parenting. I am not alone, either. His seminar tapes are by far the most frequently requested biblical teaching material among my students, counselees, and friends.” —Dr. Ed Welch, Professor of Practical Theology, Westminster Theological Seminary

From interaction with their peers to the instruction and correction that they receive at home, children interpret their experience from a worldview that seeks to answer their fundamental questions: Who am I? What do I exist for? Where can I find joy? We need to provide our children with a consistent, persuasive, biblical framework for understanding the world God has made and their place in it.Instructing a Child's Heart is essential to Shepherding a Child's Heart. The instruction that you provide for them not only informs their mind; it is directed to persuading their hearts of the wisdom and truthfulness of God's ways. Impress truth on the hearts of your children, not to control or manage them, but to point them to the greatest joy and happiness that they can experience—delighting in God and the goodness of his ways."Biblical. Practical. Pastoral. This insightful book on godly childrearing is everything is everything we would expect from the author who brought us Shepherding a Child's Heart . Its tremendous value comes from the fact that it centers on the essential but oft neglected heart of biblical parenting: the Gospel of grace. I am glad to recommend it."—John MacArthur, Pastor-Teacher, Grace Community Church

What makes love last a lifetime?No one marries intending to fail. Each couple that says “I do” hopes for a long and beautiful life together. But as time passes, many drift apart, and some eventually call it quits.But what about the ones who stay the course, who don’t just bear through marriage but actually love it? What’s their secret?It’s simple, really: there is no secret. They follow God’s revealed design.In Lasting Love, Alistair Begg unfolds this design. After laying theological foundations, he builds levels of application, showing how God’s blueprint makes marriages sturdy and vibrant.Ideal for both those considering marriage and those already married, Lasting Love is a comprehensive book on the essentials of a great and godly union, such as:-What the Bible says about marriage vows, gender roles, and parenting-What to look for in a potential spouse-How to cure and prevent marital decayHeed the advice of this pastor who has seen too many marriages come and go. Let yours last a lifetime.